Well, father, if it comes to worst, divorce, make sure that your acts while the trial is ongoing is very influential on final trial outcome. Here are some tips that you should have on your mind to provide you better position on court.

  • Be calm

DivorceIn family relationships, we often hoist our sails when the wind blows hardest and thus get blown around out of control.  The fathers who made it through the process took down their sails when the wind blew harder, both at home prior to the divorce and during the process.  When the angry wife would hurl bitter comments or recriminations, they took note of what was said, but they didn’t retaliate in kind.  They found that when they could react rationally and not in anger, they were more careful and more thoughtful, and did not give their wife any ammunition to use against them later.

  • Bad time for moving

These fathers who made it through successfully learned that when a father moves out of the home prior to a divorce decree, they put themselves in a bad position.  The Mom has practical custody if Dad leaves, and she is in a stronger position to get the upper hand in a custody battle.  You may need to move into another bedroom and avoid your spouse as much as possible to keep the discord down, but leaving the house will be a strategic disadvantage later.

  • Make records

Purchase a journal and keep careful records of everything that is said and done in relation to the divorce process.  Record threats, insults, etc. from your spouse recording dates and times.  Keep very careful records of your spending habits, money you give her and the kids, and expenses you pay for.  If there is a negative incident in public, write it down and record the names of any witnesses.  Print out your bank records periodically so that you can show any large withdrawals made by your spouse.  Record keeping is often the great equalizer in a legal system that seems biased against men and that relies on records and facts.

  • Behaive well

Limit your consumption of alcohol and drugs; in fact, stop completely if possible.  Pay your bills on time.  Don’t get into public spectacles that will cause anyone to question your level of responsibility.  Don’t allow your spouse to egg you into a confrontation and especially do not engage in any form of physical, emotional or sexual abuse.  In order to come out of a divorce process with your reputation and finances intact, you cannot ever be the aggressor.  Because of the pro-mother bias of the family law system, you have a higher standard of behavior to exhibit than she does.  It’s not fair, but it is the way it is.

  • Be „ normal dad“ to your children

Keep communicating with them, show up to their games, recitals and performances and praise them.  Help with homework and have some fun together as well.  Don’t talk negatively about their mom in their presence, no matter how she may talk with them about you.  Your positive interactions with them will help with the process, and will also preserve a relationship for later when the dust settles and normal condition sets in.